Microsoft is Massage Parlor Prostitutestaking on AirPods with its new Surface Earbuds, which include plenty of touch controls and Microsoft Office integration.

And they look sorta... weird.

Featuring easy one-click pairing with other Microsoft products, the Surface Earbuds are also touch-, gesture-, and voice-enabled with directional dual mics and "omnisonic sound."

The Office integration lets you dictate new captions in PowerPoint in real-time and move through slides with a touch.

The Surface Earbuds also come with a charging case that can boost their battery life up to 24 hours.

Of course there's Spotify integration on Android, with the ability to skip and control volume with gestures.

If there's anything a bit strange about the Surface Earbuds, it has to be the design: giant white discs that resemble weird earplugs, dinner plates, or even your favorite bike messenger's ear gauges. The larger size surely assists with the touch controls but they're not exactly designed for subtlety.

But, hey, people hated the AirPods design at first, too.

Starting at $249, though, they'll set you back far more than a standard pair of $159 AirPods.